Сражаться с местным управлением гораздо сложней, чем с армией болванчиков

XIII – there is hell, it is here. Review / Games

Genre Something vaguely like a first person shooter
Publisher Microids
Publisher in Russia “Buka”
Developer PlayMagic
Minimum Requirements Intel Core i5-4460 3.4 GHz / AMD Ryzen 3 1200 3.1 GHz, 8 GB RAM, DirectX 11 graphics card and 4 GB memory, such as NVIDIA GeForce GTX 960 / AMD Radeon R9 380, 25 GB storage, operating system Windows 10
Recommended Requirements Intel Core i7-8700K 3.7 GHz / AMD Ryzen 7 1800X 3.6 GHz, 16 GB RAM, DirectX 12 graphics card and 8 GB memory, such as NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1070 Ti / AMD Radeon 5700XT
release date November 10, 2020
Age qualification From 16 years old
Platforms PC, Xbox One, PS4, Nintendo Switch
Official site

Played on PC

The original XIII may not have been a project that forever changed the face of the industry, but nevertheless it was a rather curious work with interesting artistic and game solutions, a simple but working plot and a funny atmosphere of a conspiracy thriller taken directly from the original comic book. Even now, that project looks and plays quite cheerfully – thanks to the stylization, which cleverly masks most of the graphic limitations of the beginning of the century, and the original game solutions (which is a chair like a weapon in stealth segments). But all this is categorically impossible to say about the remake, which causes nothing but terrifying flashbacks of the era of “Polish” shooters …

Fighting local government is much more difficult than fighting an army of dummies

Fighting local government is much more difficult than fighting an army of dummies

⇡ #Not a remake – torture

Important warning: while communicating with the remake XIII joking aside, for the first time in my life I had a real seasickness from the gameplay. In addition to everything that will be described below, this craft is also harmful to well-being. Take care of your health!

Remake XIII repeats the original word for word. The same scenes, the same locations, the same characters’ lines, the same mechanics – everything is quite recognizable, only it is implemented much (much!) Worse than seventeen years ago. Even comparing the two projects seems like a mockery of a classic game.

Start at least with the graphical part. Remake XIII doesn’t have such a minimum as a sustained visual style. The characters turned out to be unsightly, angular, but with brightly outlined facial features (an unsuccessful attempt to imitate the artistic style of a comic book), but the locations look like the scenery for a low-budget 2007 game without any intelligible stylization. And the comic inserts, which looked so appropriate in the original, are now completely devoid of at least some kind of organicity and visually do not relate to anything in the game. The picture as a whole looks like a loser not only in comparison with the original game, but in general with most projects of the last twenty years, if not more. And the color scheme was chosen so “skillfully” that the eyes begin to ache after half an hour spent in the remake.

Call an exorcist urgently!

Call an exorcist urgently!

But graphic mediocrity is not so bad. Remake XIII “distinguished itself” in the field of the gameplay. The fundamental mechanics of the shooter – shooting – is so clumsy and inconvenient that at some point you decide to just run past enemies straight to the nearest checkpoint, just to protect yourself from this sophisticated torture, mistakenly called a shooter.

Arsenal is ugly embodied. A revolver, a pistol, an assault rifle, a shotgun, a sniper rifle are all the same, as if you were firing from a brick. No recoil, no sane ballistic model, no at least adequately working switching between barrels. Just imagine, from a low-power nine-millimeter pistol you can accurately hit the enemy’s head from the other end of the location, or you can miss by shooting from a gun at close range. Here, of course, absolutely wooden management also plays a role.

Even mountains escape from games of this quality

Even mountains escape from games of this quality

It’s strange to even note this, but: the shooting in the original almost twenty years ago was done much more skillfully. And these are not nostalgic memories of playing youth – I was not too lazy to launch the classic XIII to compare the sensations. And the result was far from in favor of the remake.

As in the shootout comparison! In the original XIII, the opponents showed themselves to be moderately dangerous and created good dynamics. In the remake, the enemies are … ridiculous. Mercenaries of different stripes have collected in themselves the full set of qualities of a worthless AI, they have not forgotten anything: they do not notice the player at close range (!), They are rather disregarding the fact that they are being shot at (and really – think about it), and during a shootout they can calmly forget about confrontation and go about your business. Dummies are also always ready to freeze (literally stand ready in the midst of a fight, doing nothing) or drown in the floor as usual. The player’s allies are not much better – for no reason and aimlessly freeze in place, making it impossible to further pass the level, because they are the ones who launch an important script.

A unique door, opened by picking a master key not in the lock, but in the door itself ...

A unique door, opened by picking a master key not in the lock, but in the door itself …

You should have seen these amazing character animations reminiscent of fearsome demonic convulsions. The ominous notes only intensify when the heroes begin to speak without opening their mouths or simply silently leave sideways through the wall. Devilry? No, just mishandling the code. Which, among other things, has generated a fantastic number of bugs.

⇡ #Bago bingo!

There are so many faults in the “updated” XIII that at some point I decided to play bago-bingo (alas, this is the only way to entertain myself with at least something during the passage of the remake). Unfortunately, I won too quickly! And not a minute passes without encountering some kind of technical disaster. Here the grenade stuck to the character’s hands without the ability to change weapons (it was lucky that it exploded soon), a little later the weapon refused to fire tightly, and a moment later the hook did not lower the hero down (as it turned out, due to the fact that I changed the key in the layout responsible for bending).

Chanterelle does not believe that the maximum graphic settings are set. And it is they ...

Chanterelle does not believe that the maximum graphic settings are set. And it is they …

Sometimes it is difficult to understand what is in front of you – a critical bug or game feature. So, I had to fight for half an hour with a special enemy, who easily digested all my ammunition, all the grenades and several dozen bursts from stationary weapons to boot. By the way, I didn’t beat him, I had to retire. It’s lucky that even the special opponents here are ugly stupid.

What can we say about such standard things for projects of this level of elaboration as non-loading terrain textures, jumping frame rates and depressing problems with sound. Or quite insignificant (in comparison with the others, of course) problems – on the pistol with a silencer, in fact, the silencer is not drawn, and through the hero’s hands the contours of distant background objects can sometimes be seen.

When the designer is sure of the quality level of the project ...

When the designer is sure of the quality level of the project …

To be honest, it seems like something blatantly indecent to release a project in the state in which the new XIII came out! As if this review was written in bright yellow, published without typesetting in a solid brick of text, and even turned out to be entirely copied from some other site. The original XIII didn’t deserve that. Fortunately, it hasn’t gone anywhere – it can still be purchased for next to nothing in digital stores. And have a great time in a great game work, and not on these circles of hell, burning with bugs and mediocre handling of classics.


  • some in-game finds from the original seventeen years ago are still pretty good …


  • … but most of the game finds of the original seventeen years ago are hopelessly spoiled;
  • the phenomenally unsightly parody of stylization is perceived solely as an insult to the eyes;
  • the remake causes nausea in a purely physiological sense – it makes you feel sick from the gameplay;
  • a plentiful stream of bugs, malfunctions and defects;
  • depressingly clumsy animation of everything;
  • shooting and throwing knives promise torment to the player;
  • the artificial intelligence of opponents is even somehow inconvenient to call intelligence.

Graphic arts

Stylization for comics in the remake looks faded, not even vulgar! Models of characters and locations are made in completely different manner of drawing, converging only in general low quality. The animations are terrifying – facial and everything else. And the color scheme in a company with completely incorrectly aligned lighting literally hurts the eyes.


The sounds of the shots often lag behind the shots themselves, the lines of the characters too. Various inappropriate noises appear out of nowhere. And the screams of ordinary opponents cause the purest Spanish shame.

Single player game

Those who decide to go through the XIII remake campaign are in agony: battles with wooden controls and bugs, regular level restarts due to a stuck key character, real seasickness and many other “entertainment”. If you really want to join the cult game, then the original XIII is a hundred times better in absolutely everything.

Collective game

The remake contains a couple of standard network modes – Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch. Play which did not work due to the fact that the character selection for the match is not loaded on the character selection screen for the match …

General impression

Not so much an artisanal hack in a hurry, as a resounding slap in the face to fans of the original, in particular, to fans of video games in general, and what’s really there – to any person with senses.

Rating: 2.0 / 10

More about the grading system


If you notice an error, select it with the mouse and press CTRL + ENTER.

Leave a Comment